On Being Alone and the Mimetic Pull

Photo by Antonious Ferret.

“If you want to make the wrong decision, ask everyone.” – Naval Ravikant

I enjoy having company.

But there's something about being alone that fascinates me. I can't quite put my finger on it, but being alone with yourself is incredibly liberating. Perhaps it's just my personality.

Let's look into it together.

To be honest, being in groups can make you stupid at times. It has the capacity to influence you to say or do things you don't want to say or do.

Every time I'm stuck in groupthink, I remember this Naval quote.

"Groups seek consensus, while individuals seek truth." - Naval

Being in different places can sometimes lead to you having desires you don't even want to have in the first place. This is because we are born imitators. Whether you like it or not.

Illustrations by Liana Finck. As see on the book by Luke Burgis.

In Luke Burgis' book Wanting, he discusses how we obtain most of our desires through mimetic models or mediators (internal or external).

Have you noticed why you like that band so much? Aside from the fact that they're really good? Or have you ever felt that being around combative, insecure, and angry people causes you to behave similarly? That is an example of Mimesis at work.

But we can take advantage of it! That's the good news. You can't help but be one when you make an effort to associate with positive, ambitious, and selfless individuals. You tend to be happier, more at ease, and more peaceful.

That's not to say you should go out and cut every tie you think is bad for you. Because that also makes you an asshole most of the time. Remember that we all come from different backgrounds and are all learning as we go.

You can, however, distance yourself from what does not bring out the best in you. Jordan Peterson explained it more clearly. He mentioned in Rule #3 of his book 12 Rules for Life;

“It’s a good thing, not a selfish thing, to choose people who are good for you. It’s appropriate and praiseworthy to associate with people whose lives would be improved if they saw your life improve.” - Jordan B. Peterson

That brings us back to being with yourself. On why I adore it so much.

It helps you become aware of your preferences. makes you wonder about your motivations. keeps your ego in check as well.

It gives you that needed step-back (like what you get through meditation) to see what's happening around you. The individual.

You noticed that I didn't make being with others or by yourself into something evil. because each has benefits and drawbacks of their own. Our goal is to raise awareness about why these things occur.

And maybe from there we can grow as individuals. Alone or in a group.