Photo by Noah Silliman / Unsplash
"Everyone thinks forgiveness is a lovely idea until he has something to forgive." - C.S Lewis
Reading Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse is one hell of a ride. It’s truly inspiring.
Siddhartha swam through life dealing with lust, greed and its cycle while he was on the path to self-discovery.
He swam through the ups and downs of samsara (the daily round of the normal everyday), to adoring the river like his ferryman friend Vasudeva did, and embracing the wisdom it bestowed upon him.
He didn't choose to meet Kamala (lust) and Kamaswami (greed) on purpose, but he was lured into it by fate, or whatever you want to call it.
While his friend Govinda was following the Buddha religiously insisted on Siddhartha doing the same, He chose to be very skeptical began to question everything.
Along the way, Kamala informed him that she was pregnant before she died, and now Siddharta has a child. He adored the child and promised to look after him.
But what follows is not what he expected.
The child grew up to be very defiant of his father and mocked everything he did. He had no desire to become an or a monk so ran away.
Siddhartha became so enraged and desperate to regain control of his child that becoming 'enlightened' became a goal for him rather than his son.
But Vasudeva reminded him that, like Siddhartha, the boy would have to rebel, that he too, would have to flee and learn for himself. The same way Siddharta told Govinda at the end of the book "Perhaps you seek too much—as a result of your seeking, you cannot find."
We all went through things that we hadn't planned at all.
I've been in relationships and had mimetic desires that did not serve my best self at all.
I've hurt friends in the past and wished it hadn't happened.
Traumatic events in my life that could have been avoided if I had not taken that flight, or if only I had taken the flight home.
Stupid games that won me stupid prizes.
And so on...
One thing remains constant: You still have a lesson to learn from it.
I now vow to love myself and the people around me.
To not let fabricated stories get in the way of your truth.
To forgive those who have wronged you, and realize that maybe they are on a different path you don't understand, and they might learn a thing or two along the way.
We proceed. Because there is still more to change in us and more to experience.
But this time we’ve learned a lot.
But do you know who you should forgive the most?
Yourself.
Such a good book!
P.S,
Despite all of it, I've met the sweetest person I've ever encountered in my life.
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